Agony, aka Decision-making

I have a hard time making decisions. It literally stresses me out to a point where I often leave things undone. Our recent relocation from California to British-Columbia has brought its load of decisions, and I’ve been searching for better strategies to cope with the decision-making overwhelm. It seems the number one solution would be to make the decisions and move on with it, but how?

As Brené Brown explains, intuition can play a major role in alleviating decision-making. As it is though, our intuition is usually drowned by our need for certainty, and most of us have lots of that! In the present situation, I am forced to acknowledge that all my efforts in non-attachment and surrender have merely loosened the ends of this paralyzing need for certainty of mine.

“Intuition is not a single way of knowing - it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.”

When we allow our intuition to flow naturally, we feel connected and balanced. We don’t question our direction, we just keep moving and we feel at ease. We make decisions based on gut feelings, for better or for worse. We are in tune with our inner rhythm.

A good place to start catching your need for certainty is to notice when and where you feel the need to ask your partner, friends or family what you should do or what they think as a way to be reassured. Notice that you probably have your answer, but you are just too uncomfortable with the uncertainty surrounding it. How will people react? What will the consequences be? Will it work? So what? Trust your intuition. In the best case scenario, it's right. In the wrong case scenario, you'll learn lots. (And when you feel really really stuck, flip a coin and see how your intuition reacts to the result. You can always veto the coin's decision.)

* The quote is pulled from The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown. Brené Brown delivered two of my absolute favourite TED talks, so I was excited to finally get my hands on her second book. Her simple and concise chapters have helped me wrap my head around some of the most confusing questions surrounding my authenticity and spirituality. She brings in her personal voice, which makes this read even more compelling, and she never pretends to be perfect and to have it figured out, which is refreshing and encouraging. No matter what we would like to think, none of us is perfect. And contrary to our beliefs (because that’s all it is), our imperfections are the gateway to belonging and connection, joy and fulfillment. These are the best 137 pages I have read all year!